Waste-of-Time Meditation


As anyone who has ever gone through a convalescence knows, it can be difficult not to jump ahead in the healing process and feel ready to take on the world mentally before the body is truly ready. Lately, the sheer amount of passive entertainment I’ve been taking in has been feeling more and more like an enormous waste of time.

This is a good sign–sort of. It means that I have enough extra mental energy to fret a bit about how I’m spending my time, which means I’m feeling better than I have been the last couple months. I’m in that middle phase, wanting to be able to do more, but not doing it. My kitchen table is piled with sewing materials and patterns, but I’m still not ready to get down to sewing.

The mindfullness training I’m doing be meditating is helpful here. I have two new complimentary projects I’m working on right now. First, is to come back to now. Right now, I am recovering from the last couple months, and if what I feel up to is watching television shows or reading novels for most of the day, it is what it is. I was really fighting this until my lovely yoga therapist assigned me to refocus on accepting my current activity level, and even accepting the resistance I feel to that. So I pause for acceptance through the day.

My second assignment was from my fantastic psych therapist. I’m to spend 10 minutes a day really getting into the feeling of what a waste of time it is to do what I’m doing. To meditate on it and explore it. And then, to put it away until the following day. Ten minutes, no more, no less.

This exploration has been interesting. I’m feeling much more peaceful in general, and discovering some “kinks” in my thought patterns that mean I’m harder on myself than necessary. Again, it comes down to me being grateful to be exactly where I am, learning and growing and healing. It’s hard work, and it’s important work, and I’m grateful to have some excellent teachers in my life, at the right time for it to do me good.


8 responses »

  1. I’m a big fan of meditation. It has so many good side effects for the physical and mental. After my spine surgery, I meditated daily for a year. It helped my body to heal and realign. Those sound like great exercises. 🙂

    • Thank you Kourtney! Meditation really has been a big part of my learning to live my new life well. I don’t really ENJOY it but I do appreciate what it does for me =-)

  2. Hi. I saw your comments on another blog and thought I’d come and see and was drawn to the title of this particular post. I am interested in all sorts of concepts of time and I’m interested in meditation.
    I have a friend who talks of the value of what he calls ‘wasting time with God’ which sounds a very similar concept to what I’ve heard some modern day monastic type community call pottering time. Essentially it is about learning to BE and not feeling under pressure to do.
    I’d like to wish you well with your sewing project and hope that can be an expression of who you are. And I admire your positive attitude.

    • Thank you Rosalie! What you mention does sound quite a lot like meditation time; so important to helping us learn how to be more present the rest of the time instead of getting sucked into worries and regrets.
      Thank you for coming by and commenting!

  3. I really love you story. I am also practicing Mindfulness and finding this really beneficial for the pain of CRPS. I also have done some self hypnosis (who would believe that this would be run by a public hospital?) and again find this amazingly sucessful. Thank you for you story

    • Thank you! I’m pretty amazed that you got self-hypnosis instruction. I had a self-hypnosis tape for kids when I was little that I loved, and have seen some pretty incredible changes in pain under hypnosis on a BBC show. Makes me ALMOST want to find a hypnotist, but I can’t get over having to trust someone I don’t know with my subconscious =-)

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